Nanny vs. Daycare and Beyond by MaryP on www.workitmom.com

The original article can be found here: http://www.workitmom.com/article-2934

Breast or bottle, crib or co-sleep, cloth or disposable... Before your child's first breath, you've already made a heap of parenting decisions, and there are many more to come! Today we'll focus on a biggie for those mothers who have decided to return to work after their maternity leave: Childcare.

It's such a big decision, one that's been talked about a lot here at WIM. We'll take it in stages. First: What are your childcare options?

Childcare falls into two broad categories: large-group and small-group care. Large-group includes daycare centers and preschools; small-group is home-care and, the smallest of small "groups," nannies.

(One very common choice is family care -- a sister, an aunt, a mother -- but I won't be discussing that. I'm quite sure you have a clearer idea of the pros and cons of working with your family than I do!)

You will note that the same factor is often on both "pro" and "con" lists. I'm not being indecisive! These factors are very often a matter of perspective and needs. One family sees social interaction as top priority; another worries that their introverted child will be swamped by too many kids, too soon. Neither family is wrong: they just have different outlooks and challenges. You make your choice for your child and your family, not for anyone else's.

Daycare Centers and Preschools:

Pros:

1.) Trained staff.

2.) Staff is often young (with lots of energy, recently graduated, full of enthusiasm and ideas).

3.) Lots of equipment.

4.) Monitored by and accountable to government or municipal agencies.

5.) Lots of other children (and the opportunity for interaction, cooperative play, challenges, conversation).

6.) Clear, professional contracts.

7.) Curriculum. Professional staff know how to introduce concepts; some centers offer "academic" elements, like learning the alphabet and numbers. (Preschools are most likely to offer curriculum).

8.) Always open, or, if it is closed for certain times, these will be in the contract and/or announced well in advance.

Cons:

1.) High staff turnover. Tthis is something virtually all large-group centers deal with.

2.) Young staff (may be inexperienced).

3.) Lots of other children (can mean more illness, bullying, aggressions. Stressful for shy or introverted child).

4.) Less flexibility. Even the best of centers can't offer the accommodation of individual needs as well as one-to-one care; the closer you get to one-to-one, the more personal the attention.

5.) Late fees. Most centers have late fees, and they're generally pretty steep, in the order of $2 to $5 perminute, occasionally more.

6.) Curriculum. Some parents believe the focus on academic achievement is age-inappropriate to babies and toddlers, for whom emotional/social guidance is all-important.

7.) Monitoring. Some parents wonder how effective the monitoring can be, with visits from inspectors happening as infrequently as once a quarter. You will know if the building is physically safe and hygienic, but what of the emotional environment, which is so much harder to define and quantify?

One Work It, Mom! member has some good insight into possible pros and cons of large-group care: You'll find Trudi in the ninth comment down in this discussion.

Home Care:

Pros:

2.) One caregiver (stability of emotional attachment for the children).

3.) Older caregiver. Often the caregiver is an experienced mother; many have been doing this for years, and will do a little mothering of the mothers, too.

4.) Home environment. Children are in a home, so the atmosphere is more "family" than large centers.

5.) Children not segregated by age. Often, large centers are required to separate the age-groups. In home care, toddlers and babies interact, allowing older children to learn to nurture, and younger children to emulate more advanced behaviors.

6.) Flexibility (re: naps, food, hours of care). This varies by provider, of course, but with only a handful of children to tend, there is the potential of greater flexibility. A caregiver who stands to lose 20 percent of her income if you remove your child might be more flexible than a center which has a six-month waiting list.

Cons:

1.) No outside monitoring (varies by jurisdiction). This puts the onus on the parents.

2.) Fewer children. Less opportunity for social interactions. If your child doesn't get along with the one other child in care, you have a problem!

3.) Training. Is "the nice lady down the street" going to provide the same quality care as the trained professionals at the center? Evaluating her expertise is harder without that piece of paper.

4.) No back-up. When caregiver takes time off or gets sick, she rarely provides back-up.

5.) May not have contract. How will conflicts or misunderstandings be resolved?

Nanny:

Pros:

It's pretty clear that in the discussions throughout WIM, a nanny in your home is widely considered the Gold Standard of child care, particularly for children under the age of 2 or 3, when their social needs become stronger. The advantages of a nanny are obvious:

1.) Convenience. She's in your own home! No racing the child out to daycare, no racing the clock to get back before the late fees kick in.

2.) Training. Depending on the nanny, of course, but there are very well-trained nannies out there.

3.) Focus. One-to-one attention for your child.

4.) May do light housework as well. Imagine coming home to a house that not only holds your happy child, but is also tidy!

Cons:

1.) Expense. With very few exceptions, nannies are the most expensive childcare option. This puts it out of the reach of many families.

2.) No back-up. If she's not with an agency, you have no backup if she bails/is sick.

3.) Focus. Some parents worry that too much attention can produce passive, attention-dependent children.

4.) Socialization. Parents sometimes feel the child needs more socialization than can be provided by a nanny in the home, particularly as the child gets older.